Enough
by jajenshadimose6012
Summary: Takes place sometime between BP and SB-an Adrose  Adrian/Rose  one-shot fic. In a nutshell, Adrian helps Rose get over Dimitri and move on. Lots of these, I'm sure, and I'm sure you're tired of the cliche, but if you can put up with it, have at it.


**A/N: OK, anyone who knows me KNOWS that I am a HUGE Dimose fan—I love Adrian to death, I do, but I am all for Dimitri as Rose's ultimate guy. I have a friend, though, who prefers Adrian so I wrote this one-shot fic for her last year for her birthday and I happened across it and thought I'd go ahead and post it up for you guys. Like I said, I wrote it last year—while I was writing my book, mind you—so it is very rushed and lacks any detail and sucks sooooooo much, but here's to hoping you guys can put up with it. Just a little something to help compensate for my not updating my LS fic for almost a month. Hope it's good compensation and if not, let me know, and I promise I'll make up for it. Hope you guys like **

No matter how many times I would stare and stare at the one picture I did have of him, the result was always the same. My heart would break all over again. And, the half of my soul that he would always and forever own would shatter into a million pieces.

Dimitri Belikov.

Oh, God, where do I even begin to describe that man? Well, let's see, starting simple here...he was my teacher and mentor, training me how to fight and how to protect my best friend, Lissa. He and I were going to both be her guardians once Lissa and I had graduated from the academy and were out in the real world. He was all kinds of bad-ass and really knew his stuff when it came to fighting, so yeah. I was definitely learning from the best there was.

But, of course, those damn casualties of love and war also kind of resulted in his becoming the love of my life. He was only seven years older than me, so it wasn't like he was some forty-year-old dude robbin' that cradle or nothing. By all respectable and logical means, naturally, yes our relationship was very wrong…but by the means of our hearts…it could not have been more right.

Dimitri had always, always understood some part of me that no one else ever could. Not Lissa, not even myself. We always had a strong connection with one another that had been established from day one. It had just progressed and grown over time—through no fault of our own. We tried to fight it, but there came a point when we no longer could deny what we were feeling.

We gave into all we wanted and we had sex, after which, we decided that being together would actually be possible, so long as we were careful with our other arrangements and responsibilities.

But, of course all that hope and love and happiness was screwed to hell when he was forcibly turned into a Strigoi—the bad, immortal vampires of my world—and he now killed humans for his blood source as opposed to just taking the smaller amounts daily that Moroi took.

That would be Lissa. She was a Moroi—a good, mortal vampire—ones that didn't kill to feed, they would just take daily doses of blood from willing humans called feeders.

Either way, that was beside the point right now.

Dimitri, as I said, was forcibly turned into a Strigoi by another Strigoi named Nathan, who had drunk his blood and then fed him Strigoi blood in return. God, the day I had seen Dimitri be turned, the day I had stood there and watched as the love of my life was being overpowered and taken over like that, and having no way of stopping it…

…it killed me. It just killed me and everything inside of me. Everything that was Rose Hathaway was very much gone. I had abandoned my friends, my life, I had lost Dimitri…I had nothing left.

I had left to kill him, to keep an unspoken promise between us. That if one or the other of us was ever turned Strigoi, the other one would kill them. No matter what.

Yeah, well, that didn't work out so well for me. I thought I had shanked his ass when he fell over that damn bridge. I thought it was over. Done. I thought I could go on with my life and just…try to pick up the very broken pieces of it and try to force them together again to live whatever smidgen of a life that I had left.

Not so much. Apparently, I didn't shank his ass as much as I had thought I did. He was still alive. And, now coming after me to shank mine. Ah, the irony.

Nonetheless though, even attempting to kill him and knowing that he was out there waiting to kill me first chance he got…I still did love him. I always, always would.

I knew I shouldn't, but not like that had really stopped me before. Now things had just gotten a tad bit more complicated.

So, yes, I laid there on my bed as I waited for sleep to come to me, and stared absently at the picture. It had been found in his room when his stuff had been removed and my mother had snagged it to keep it in safe keeping for me. Not that I really knew why, she never mentioned knowing anything about him and me and I never asked, but either way. It was a nice gesture. And, it was nice to be able to see him as he once was.

To see the man that I had fallen in love with, and not the poor illusion of him. I had convinced myself that that poor illusion of him might possibly be enough to replace the real thing for a short time. I figured that it was better than nothing at all. Just to have him and be with him and love him. That was all I had always ever wanted. And now that I had it…

…I realized that I could not want that anymore. It was not Dimitri. It was a thing wearing his face, sharing his memories, but…it wasn't the man I loved. And, if I couldn't have the man I loved back…then I would not settle for his piece of crap homicidal psychotic wanna-be clone.

I stared at that picture as if my very life depended on it. Seeing him, seeing the man he used to be, seeing the man I loved…tore at my already broken heart. It violently ripped it to shreds, reminding me cruelly of what I had and what I could never have again.

God, it was torture…I clutched my hands desperately to my heart for a brief moment, before realizing what I was doing. And, then I immediately released them and scoffed at myself for that moment of weakness.

"Dimitri," I breathed his name, unable to stop myself, but not allowing anything else. My head hit the pillow and I placed the picture right beside me on the pillow so that I could still see it easily. My fingertips lightly touched his face in the picture. I couldn't help myself… "I love you," I mouthed the words.

I let out a sigh and nestled myself further into the pillow, trying to get comfortable in this position. Most importantly, trying to get sleepy. Nope. Neither one was coming. Damn.

"Do not tell me you are still moping over that damn thing," Adrian's voice suddenly came from behind me, making jump about a foot in the air as I shot up and whipped around to face him.

He stood in my doorway, leaning against the doorframe, his arms folded across his chest. One elbow rested on his other forearm as he held a cigarette in between two fingers, and he managed to keep that trademark smirk of his on his lips as he blew a cloud of smoke out of them. Much as I hated to admit it, he did look pretty freakin' hot. Not the smoking part; that was always a turn off for me. But, just the way he was standing there, regarding me…

I nodded towards the cigarette. "Thought you'd given up smoking," I pointed out.

He grimaced before putting it out. "Funny, I thought you'd given up on your bad-ass Russian mentor."

I rolled my eyes. "Don't change the subject. And, what are you even doing in here? Guest housing resident or not, I am still technically a student here and you are not allowed to be in my room."

He gave a dismissive wave of his hand. "Calm down, little dhampir, will you? I didn't come in here to violate you or nothing—unless of course you consent to my always-open violation."

I just stared at him, not amused. "Is that supposed to be funny?"

"Not at all, I was serious," he assured me, sounding somewhat insulted by the insinuation.

"What do you want, Adrian?" I asked, my voice a lot thicker than I wanted it to be. Damn it, sitting up here sulking over Dimitri sure as hell did me no good. Now, I couldn't put on the brave-Rose face that I had been wearing in front of people like him and Lissa.

He shrugged. "Just to talk," he offered. "Something's bothering you, Rose."

I rolled my eyes again, swinging my legs over the side of the bed as I shifted myself into a sitting position. "You know what's bothering me, Adrian. Apparently, the whole damn school knows what's bothering me. And, no I don't wanna talk about it so don't bother trying."

"Wasn't gonna," he said, advancing cautiously towards me. "You don't have to talk; you just have to listen."

I exhaled shakily, raking a hand through my hair as I did so. "Sorry, I must have left my big listening ears in the first grade because my listening skills are kinda on the fritz too."

He decided to play it off as a joke to lighten the mood. "Oh, come on, what use is it to you to sit around cryin' over your damn lost love when you've got yourself the top notch choice…right here?" He gestured to himself. "I mean, seriously. Yeah, you loved him. Yeah, you had some deep meaningful connection crap goin' on. Yeah, you lost him. Yeah, it was absolutely devastating, but that does not mean that life does not continue to go on."

"I know that," I let him know. "It's just…not so much the knowing that so much as the not knowing how to go on that's getting to me. It's just so…weird. You have no idea…no idea…how hard it is."

His eyes were on me as he said his next words. "I think I might have a clue, Rose. You forget…I technically lost you. But, that didn't mean I was just going to give up hope. I didn't know that it would ever be okay again; I just had to tell myself that. There were times when I sincerely doubted it. When you were gone, when Lissa was…going…there were times when I wanted nothing more than to just give up."

"You done?" I asked, once he had been silent for a moment. "A damn lecture about how the suffering of life only makes me stronger and how it'll get better isn't exactly what I need right now. I don't need your word. I don't need you. I don't need anything."

"Then, what do you need?" he asked.

"Nothing," I repeated, jerking my head to the side to avert my eyes from his.

Another silent moment passed.

"Him," he eventually guessed, his voice barely above a whisper.

I didn't answer. That told him everything he needed to know.

"Rose—"

"Don't," I practically growled, flinching away from his attempt to touch me.

He flinched too, waiting for my eyes to meet his before speaking again. "Don't what?"

"Don't…try to make me feel better." I shook my head fiercely to make my point. "Don't try to comfort me; I don't want that right now. I can't…feel better now. Not now."

"Why not?" he asked.

"Because…so long as he is out there somewhere, so long as he is still alive…there is no feeling better. Not for me. Not ever."

"I can't even begin to imagine how hard this has been for you. I know that. And, I know that no matter how sorry we all are for you, no matter how much we wish we can make it better…no one ever can. This is just one of those things that will never be better. It can't be."

"Are you going somewhere with this?" I asked through clenched teeth, fixing him with a hard glare.

"You know you'd think I would," he mused. "But, the truth is I have nowhere to go with it. Nothing to say. In fact, it'd probably just be better for all of us if I just…go somewhere right now and leave you be. But, I can't do that."

"Don't even wanna give it a shot?" I challenged, giving him a smirk with the slightest of warnings behind it.

"Not that I don't want to," he corrected, "but that I can't. Rose, everyone else might be perfectly fine with going on like it's nothing. Not bringing it up, not mentioning it…just completely pretending that Dimitri Belikov didn't exist at all. But, I can't content myself with that."

"Oh, my God, Adrian, content yourself; have you actually been doing some reading? That's a pretty big word for someone like you." I cracked a smile.

Uncharacteristically, though, his smile had vanished. He was dead serious with this, and he was in no way going to put on that he wasn't. Oh, crap. That was usually never a good thing.

He knelt down before me, taking my face in his hands to force me to look at him. I wanted to jerk away and tell him off for that, but the look of determination on his face stopped me. "Rose…"

"Adrian…" I matched his hard tone to show him how much of an effect he did _not _have on me.

"I want to help you," he said, that look of determination never leaving his features.

"Take a number and get in line, pal, there's a lot of people that wanna help me," I pointed out. "But, no one can. Not even _he _could." My voice cracked slightly with those last words, son of a bitch. "I was with him…he was the only person that could always, always make the worst of situations better. And, now he's gone. So, yeah…there _is_ no making this better. Not without him—"

By the end of my rant, I was practically shouting my words, my hands flying dramatically in the air as I spoke, to further make my point. But, my last sentence was cut off by his lips suddenly crushing mine.

My hands immediately moved to his shoulders and I had intended to shove him away, but before I could act, he had pulled away himself.

"What…the _hell _was that?" I demanded.

"He's not here…" he answered, his hands still holding my face, his thumb stroking my cheek as his eyes stared into mine. "…but I am. And, that's a start, if nothing else."

His lips were on mine again and, by that point, I kind of lost all will to push him away. Partly because I just needed this—I just needed someone to hold me and kiss me—but also because partly, I wanted this. I wanted this…and that part of me did want this from him.

His lips were hesitant against mine at first, giving me the opportunity to pull away at any moment if I wanted to. But, it wasn't too long before I had lost myself in those kisses and there was nothing in this world but me and him.

Even Dimitri—the guy that I had considered my very world—had completely vanished from my mind. That wasn't to say that I didn't still love him, I did, but this was just…an escape from that pain. It was such a release to have something else to focus on besides the pain that had been swallowing me whole since I lost Dimitri.

I was torn between remaining loyal and true to Dimitri—the man that I loved entirely and who owned my heart (no matter how evil he might be now) something that could never really be changed—and with my need to just have someone.

Adrian could never be just a casual anybody for me, not anymore. I cared a lot about him and after everything he had done for me, for Lissa…he now meant so much more to me than he ever had in the past. He had always been hot and he had always been interested in me, but my interest was a little taken at the moment. But, now that it was free, so to speak…I now realized just how much I had just by having Adrian.

Kissing Adrian was actually quite nice—a lot different than I had been expecting. It wasn't like kissing Dimitri, but it was actually the closest to it that I had ever experienced. And, the way his arms slid around me to hold me against him, the way his lips would move against mine…was great in its own way. Amazing, even…

Part of me felt guilty that I didn't feel worse about this, but another part of me—apparently the more dominant part of me right now—just reveled in it and allowed myself to just give in and be taken over by it. As much as I hated to admit it, I did so need this right now. I needed help, I needed comfort. And most of all…I needed that person to be Adrian.

The kissing actually intensified and grew more and more rapidly until we had reached the point where he was laying me down on the bed and shifting himself so that he hovered over me.

He broke the kiss for a brief moment to say, "We don't have to do this…if you don't want to…Rose, I don't want—"

"Well, I do want," I assured him, burying my fingers in his hair and pulling his head towards mine again. "I do want, I need…" My words were smothered off by his lips now against mine.

"You sure?" he asked, the moment we had broken the kiss again.

"You tell me," I said, my voice sounding actually quite breathless. I reached down, gripping the bottom of his t-shirt and pushing it up his chest. He helped me remove it and it was soon discarded on the floor.

My hands traced down his chest, my lips searching for his again. But, his lips were trailing their way along my jaw line as his hands now tilted my head back and his lips worked against the skin of my throat.

A whimper escaped my lips as I pressed myself further against him, my hands now tracing around to his back. He wasn't as ripped or as defined as Dimitri was, but he did have himself some pretty nice muscles for a Moroi, I had to admit.

I gasped. No. No! I would not let myself think about Dimitri right now, damn it. I was with Adrian. Adrian.

To help my thoughts shift more towards Adrian, I shifted so that my legs could hitch themselves around Adrian's hips and his lips made their way back to mine. Like that, it was so much easier for me to lose myself in _him_…In him, Adrian…

While we kissed, his hands worked to remove my shirt. More and more items of clothing were being discarded, slowly and hesitantly—both of us waiting for the other to stop it—but no one did. We both allowed it to continue on and on…

Eventually, we were both completely naked, limbs twining and bodies moving together…his lips against mine, his skin against mine…neither of us stopping. Just going on and on until…

…until nothing…

Until we both collapsed together, side-by-side on the pillows, in each other's arms. Neither one of us let go of the other one. We just held onto each other as we drifted off to sleep, whispering the other's names and other terms of endearment.

God, it really was quite remarkable how great and amazing that had been. To the point to where, I had stopped comparing him to Dimitri and was just having sex with _him_ and Dimitri was…completely gone. There was no Dimitri. There was only Adrian.

It was Adrian's lips on mine. Adrian's skin against mine. Adrian's arms holding me. Adrian's name on my lips. Adrian that I had held in my arms. And, it was Adrian that had made me feel so peaceful. So content and so loved just by being there for me.

And, it was Adrian that I had wanted to be there for me.

Yes, I did love Dimitri and yes, he would always hold a special place in my heart, but Adrian was here for me now. And, he loved me…or at least I think he did. I was pretty sure he did, considering all he had done for me.

And, for now—and very possibly for always—that would be enough. That would be more than enough. I could ask for nothing more than that.


End file.
